Writing Common Sense

Following yesterday's thread of thought, here are some writing tips that most people should be aware of as common sense.

• Show, don't tell. Put your money where my pocket your mouth is. 
• Read your writing aloud. If it sounds choppy or slow or ridiculous, (you guessed it) it is! Fix it. 

• Adjectives are the enemy. Use them sparingly, like your last storage of chocolate.
• Verbs are great! They skedaddle, mesmerize, explode, catapult over burning buildings and even do the dishes (literally... or is that figuratively?). What more can you ask for ?

• Use correct grammar! Creative license will only get you so far, depending on what you're writing. But first, make sure you can easily follow the rules so you know how to artfully break them.
• Edit your work! Don't be a lazy ass and make someone else do it. Editing is one of the most important parts of the writing process.

• This should go without saying, but I'll say it anyway: avoid cliches!
• If you're writing about a character that's the opposite sex, please think twice about the dialogue and thoughts. I've critiqued writing many times where I end up saying, "(Guys/Girls) don't talk like that. Think about it. They would never say/think like that at all." Even if it's fiction, keep it real, yo.=

• Follow the rules of the world/genre. If it's sci-fi, don't go jumping outside the bounds of physics (esp. without any logical explaination). If it's fantasy, obey the law of the land; everything has limits and consequences, even magic. If it's non-fiction, don't go off into an alien space ship. You get the point?
• Research! Don't write about things as fact when you're going on assumptions. People will call you out on it.

Logic for your writing (beer for your horses?)

Today I spent a few hours completely revamping my dad's resume. He had 2 of my aunts look over it before it got sent my way. Sometimes, instead of having a little devil perched on my shoulder, I imagine a miniature mad editor, who both curses at poor grammar and spelling while simultaneously laughing with glee over fixing all the mistakes. Today, that mad little editor wanted to bang her head on the wall in frustration. Honestly, writing of any kind, be it for advertising or an essay, should be logical!

For instance, before sending out a resume: read it over several times for spelling errors, check it for typos, run a spell check, and for God's sake, make sure the information you put down is pertinent to the job you are applying for!!!

Yeesh.

Genre drug of choice

I love romance novels. I would rather read them than most other genres. Here's part something I wrote a while back that I would like to share in defense of this genre which has been often snubbed as light or poorly written literature.

Throughout this economic recession, the market for romance novels is increasingly successful. What is a better way to get your mind off everyday troubles than to read a nice, easy novel with a guaranteed happily-ever-after? In 2008, romance fiction in the U.S. generated $1.37 billion in sales. In addition, it remains the largest share of the consumer market at 13.5 percent. In North America, romance fiction comprises 54.5 percent of all popular fiction sold. Approximately one third of all women in the United States read romance.

Romance is women’s fiction, made by women for women. Thus, 90.5 percent of romance readers are women. The 2009 survey from the Romance Writer’s of America Assoc. reports that “the heart of the U.S. romance novel readership is women aged 31 to 49 who are currently in a romantic relationship.” In spite of its established readership, many readers are closet romance junkies.

            Closet romance junkies are any number of average people seen reading, on subways or in parks, but too embarrassed to admit that they enjoy romance novels because of the genre’s bad reputation for “trashy” novels. If called out on their choice of literature, closet junkies react with quick denial and profuse embarrassment. They will go to great lengths to hide this guilty pleasure. For instance, HIDEABOOK.com is an online business which caters to romance readers. The website advertises “stylish book covers for your trashy romance novels”, which are described to “protect paperback books and keep people wondering what you’re reading”.

            My pal Amanda, one of the same friends from high school who called the books “porn novels”, became a closet romance junkie after reading one from my favorite romance author— New York Times bestseller Sherrilyn Kenyon. A year or two later, I sent her another Kenyon novel as a gift. Upon receiving it, her roommate suggested that they flip through it to make fun of all the smutty parts. Later, I received a phone call from Amanda, complaining that there was too much plot because they could not readily find the sex scenes. I asked her, “What did you expect?” She said more sex scenes, though she still loved the book.

            As you saw in the example of Amanda, closet romance junkies will even feign dislike or a low opinion of the genre while around non-junkies. Yet soon as they are left alone, they head straight for the bookshelf. Some junkies even have a habit of bingeing, which usually occurs after a drought of romance in their reading repertoire or an instance of emotional excess. I plead guilty to the former, though I am proudly out of the closet.

My challenge to many people is try reading a romance novel. A real one from the romance aisle. A good one. There are dozens of sub-genres to search through (almost every fiction genre can be found as a romance sub-genre) and many many good authors to choose from. I mostly stick with action-paranormal romance novels myself.

As for the increased interest paranormal and supernatural in all genres of books (esp. romance novels), in movies, TV and other media, I will save that for another day... maybe tomorrow.

Music soothes the savage beast

I've rediscovered a musician whose work I really enjoy--Yiruma. He's a pianist and composer from South Korea. Listening to his music makes me want to learn to play his songs on the piano, even though I can't play much of anything besides "Heart and Soul". I love how Yiruma conveys such beauty and emotion in a clear, uncomplicated way.

Unfortunately, I have no piano on which to practice. Thus my mind turns to other creative venues. I like listening to good music while writing. His music makes me want to bring his songs to life in writing. It reminds me of precise descriptions and breathtaking metaphors that cause you to hault and think before continuing. It reminds me to concentrate on speed or pacing, on tone and intensity. I'm not quite ready to put out any masterpiece of literature, but I'd like to reflect many things in his music into my writing.

Currently, I want to hone my writing and work on making it more pleasing to the ear. I can do this with more repetition, which will lend to the rhythm and pace, maybe add a little rhyming... oh, and keep up with using assonance, consonance and alliteration. Fun fun.

I need to work on similies and metaphores too. --__-- They are on my shit list at the moment. *sigh* Practice makes perfect.

One of my favorite Yiruma songs so far is "When the Love Falls"

55 Fiction

I'd like to share a little known style of writing called 55 Fiction. It is a very short story--exactly 55 words long--that includes setting, character(s), conflict, and resolution. Stories of 55 fiction generally end with a twist, brought on with suspense. I.e. the reader doesn't understand the story fully until the punch line, so to speak. The count of 55 words per story excludes the title.

I enjoy this style of writing because it forces me to write very concisely and efficiently. Plus, I like that there's usually an unexpected twist at the end. Ironically, structured poetry forces the style of writing to be very concise also, but I do not like poetry.

I was told about this genre of writing in my high school creative writing class. I received a packet with examples of good 55 Fiction published in the book The World's Shortest Stories, which I have still kept (example below). I own an audio book version of The World's Shortest Stories of Love and Death, but I'd like the other books too.

Evening Surprise (by Hillary Clay)

Shimmery stockings stretched over shapely thighs--a perfect backdrop for a body-skimming cocktail dress. Glamour radiated from the ends of the diamond earrings to the tips of the spike-heeled shoes. As a shadowed eye surveyed the mirror's reflection, painted lips pursed with pleasure. Suddenly, a voice cried out from behind.

"Dad?!"

_________________________________________

Included here are a few that I wrote 5-6 years ago. I can do better nowadays, but I'm too lazy to do that now. Maybe another day...

Mafia’s Backyard

            “Were you really in the mafia, Grandpa?”

            “Of course not,” the old man admonished, ruffling his granddaughter’s dark curls.

            “Oh. Well, okay,” she responded, slim shoulders slumping in disappointment.

            Loping around the corner, the family’s German Shepard approached from the backyard, a giant, dirty bone clenched firmly in its jaws.

            “Grandpa, what’s that?”

            “A femur.”

_____________________________________________________________

Tale as Old as Time

            “You beast!”

            “Repulsive know-it-all,” the prince retaliated

            Gasp. “That is it! I want a divorce.”

            “Fine by me! But the castle is mine.”

            “I want the library,” Belle demanded.

            “You spend too much time in that damned library…”

            The therapist rubbed his temples. Never a dull moment in the lifestyles of the rich and fabled.

_____________________________________________________________

A Pirate Tale

            “Sorry, kiddo. Pirates don’t exist anymore.”

            “Yes they do!” Jeremy persisted.

            Rolling her eyes, the baby-sitter gave up.

            That evening, a bearded man appeared at the door.

            “Can I help you?”

            “’Just deliverin’ a message. Have a nice evenin’, Ma’am.” With that said, he left her holding a paper slip containing a single black dot.

Worth for starving artists?

I love creative writing, and perhaps someday I'll continue onto grad school for that. Then again, maybe not. You never stop learning, no matter what environment you're in. Often, I feel like I learn as much from constructive feedback from peers as I do in writing class workshops.

One reason I don't plan to go to grad school any time soon (besides the economy) is because my ideal writing career is writing fantasy or romance, which is rarely taken seriously in academic settings. At college, I've generally encountered positive feedback about this ideal, maybe not for wanting to be a romance author though so much as for knowing what I want to do with my life and pursuing that goal. Then again, I've received some tongue-in-cheek responses too... not many, thank goodness.

The one that stands out in particular was a comment that was probably meant as a compliment. When I introduced myself to the class at the beginning of the semester, my professor said that I'd "be the one out there making lots of money writing romance novels while the rest of us scrap by as starving artists." What I got from that was a backhanded way of saying that if I write romance novels (which so happen to be vastly popular) in the future, at least I'll make money, whereas my fellow students are REAL artists of the word who don't sellout to popularity.

Needless to say, that didn't sit well with me. I sure as hell don't feel like I'd be selling out by writing romance novels because its what I love to do. And I don't think that my writing is any less valuable or worthwhile than my peers because of it. Secondly, no, I DON'T want to be a starving artist. I want to proudly make my living, supporting myself and my family, who've always supported me in turn. I don't want to be poor. So there.
/end rant/

Excercise: This Keyboard

This is an excercise in writing. You can write about anything. It doesn't have to be poetic or beautiful. It just needs to come alive. I'm beginning this excercise using one prop, the computer keyboard at work.

During spring of 2009 the world broke out in panic over the flu. It was the swine flu, also known as N1H1 or el gripe porcina in Spanish. It was embellished and given strength. They called it Pandemic. When news first hit the airwaves on tides of rumor, gossip, TV, and radio, people followed as if unable to stop. They surfed the net and refresh MSN, CNN news for updates... every 30 seconds. Click.

The magic potion is sanitizer, bought by the bottle, the liter, the gallon. Sterilize everything! Wash your hands. Cover your mouth. Don't cough on people. If you get the flu, give up your life to the sickbed: no school, socializing, shopping, or work. Stop everything! ...27, 28, 29, 30. Click.

Grocery list:
--Lunchmeat
--Bread
--sanitizing spray
--soap
--grapefruit
--chips
--Don't forget Vitamin C.
You look up and find that the OJ prices have been hacked up, but you still nab the last 3 gallons. You can't get sick. They say you could die. The older gentleman walking up the aisle opposite from you sneezes rapid fire. Just as quickly you turn right around, walking too fast in the opposite direction, the cart wheels squeaking in your wake...26, 27, 28 29 Click.

Bilboards prophesy the answer to all your ailments. "Get Vaccinated", they cry in bold letters. People flock to clinics and stand in line, waiting hour after hour for salvation. They tell their friends and family, besearching sceptics to save themselves before the sickness infects them all... 25 26 27 Click.

Type an e-mail, an assignment, a love letter, a ransome note, a blog post. You look down at these keys so often pressed without concern and you see something new. You see crumbs stuck in the board from careless co-workers. You see the grime from many different hands. You see a light sheen, which could be about any sort of bodily fluid.
You see red. Mayday! Mayday! S.O.S. Brain is going into meltdown.
Must clean. Must burn. Must rid it of impurities.
Nothing is safe. Nothing is sacred!

Click. Click until the web browser crashes from overload of too many links trying to run and refresh all at once.

Months later we became immune to the billboards cries and the flood of news articles and updates dwindled to a small but steady stream. Much research on the H1N1 vaccination shows contradicting results, some of which include mercury poisoning. Either way, life went on, and panic abated as the populace realized it was only the common influenza, changing as it always does and always will. And humans' bodies will subtly adapt over time in accordance to external changes.

*As a sidenote, I'm not germaphobic in any way. It equally amuses and worries me that people would kill off all bacteria, even the good ones, leading to an insufficient immune system and greater likeliness of contacting illness or disease.

Overall, this was a good waste of my time. =) Onward to more homework!